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You maximize your potential for happiness if you decide right now to accept responsibility for your life. The way you feel is what you have created, regardless of the influence or impact someone else may have on you.
It’s a simple matter, really. It involves the notion that where you are right now, what you’re doing, with whom you’re doing it, regardless of the circumstances, is your choice. You have created your life, you continue to create it, and will always create it, if your life doesn’t work for you, it’s because you have not allowed yourself to believe that you can create a healthy, happy one.
It’s amazing how much easier life is when you become one with your word. To say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when you mean ‘no’, and ‘maybe’ when you mean ‘maybe’, and ‘i don’t know’ when you mean ‘i don’t know’ may appear to be elementary, but you’d be surprised at how difficult it is for most people to do. The pressure to conform, to be pleasing or consistent with whatever image you have of yourself, is often overwhelming and difficult to resist. It becomes easier – and we learn this is early childhood – just to say whatever you thin the other person wants to hear. Conflict or unpleasantness or confrontation is avoided.
By the time we’re older, it has become a way of life. And it is also a burden. Following through on you word, keeping commitments, and taking responsibility for your actions frees you of many of life’s difficulties, and because you are not constantly thinking about the negative repercussions of what you did, didn’t do, should have done, or feel guilty about – allows more time for rest, relaxation and pleasure.
Inflexibly keeping on track is not the objective. Conditions change, and at times it is necessary to change with them. If you find that you have miscalculated the scope of commitment, there is no shame in changing your mind about it, or taking as much time as you want, need, or have, to follow through on it. It’s important, however, to communicate what has changed to all those involved so that you can still keep your commitment, which is an essential part of both mindfulness and happiness. There is little peace in irresponsibility.
Source: How to be happier day by day – Alan Epstein (book)