Being a Child

Kishore C.S. (September 2001)

When I was around 10 years old, I remember reading a few poems in my text books where adults wrote they want their childhood back. In one poem the author recollects how he used to play with boats made out of paper in rain water and how he enjoyed being a child. At that age, I was eager to grow into an adult and it looked silly to me that someone wants to be a child after growing up. But I now realize that I was wrong. Being a child is bliss and being an adult is so difficult. I realize this more and more when I watch my daughter.

The following are a few reflections in this aspect

Living in the present

When you are a child you live in the present. You are not worried about the future and you are not worried about the past. If you observe a child you can notice this. 

As an adult we worry about everything. Just imagine what we do when have to travel. We plan every minor detail so that everything goes perfectly. We do lot of things fearing the worst: we will miss the train, if we don't reach station on time. What will we do if we miss the train? There is no end to our worries. The child accompanying is not worried at all because we are there to take care of their needs. At the time we are waiting for the train, the child is concerned about their needs of eating a chocolate or something else. And you can also observe how they accept every situation they are in. They are comfortable every where. Be it the traveling in a car to the station or waiting in the station or after getting into the train. They immediately settle in their position and get busy with their world. This is what I call 'Living in the Present'. I wish I could be so in every moment. Just enjoy the present moment. If you go somewhere (like a movie) enjoy the movie and don't think about where you will go next and what you will do tomorrow. ENJOY the PRESENT like a child. 

Concentration and Detachment

Children have very good powers of concentration. Observe them when they are playing. They get immersed in their playing and don't care about what is happening around. Sometimes they will even hear us when they are immersed in their activities. At the same time they are also detached. If something else comes up they can abandon whatever they are doing and get involved into another activity instantly. They are not attached to what they are doing a moment earlier. 

Sometime my daughter will be watching Cartoons on TV. When it is time to go out I just tell her to switch off TV and she does that gladly and join us. If we are watching TV we can't do it so easily. We don't take up another activity unless the movie or program we are watching is completed. We are attached to what we are doing. If we are forced to abandon what we are doing by some other person we continue grumble about the interruption for a long time.  

Persistence

Children are very persistent. If they want something they don't rest till they get what they want. Be it a chocolate or a toy. They insist on getting their petty desires fulfilled and continue to pester us despite our indifference. Look at a child who is trying to learn a new skill like riding a bicycle. They fail so many time but they will persist. 

We as adults are not so persistent as them. We give up faster and can't take failures easily. We get upset fast when something does not happen as per our expectations. We start new ventures with expectations and that turns to affect our persistence. 

Innocence

Most important aspect of children is their innocence and complete trust. They will believe whatever we tell them and believe us completely. They develop this kind of attitude towards parents and teachers. If we continue to encourage them and teach them, they absorb everything with childhood innocence without any interpretation and believe us. They will continue to believe even if they know that we are not always telling the truth. Sometimes we use some techniques like scaring them so that they behave properly. Though they realize that they were dummy threats next time they will still believe us. Their trust in us complete. Children mostly speak truth. I have seen it many times. When a child says something he/she means it.

But we adults don't believe and trust other so easily. We let our judgment of others influence everything they say. Even if other person is telling a truth we let our impressions/circumstances guide us a lot before we completely believe them. Since we realize over a period of time that we can't trust everyone, this happens. But I realized that when it comes to children, most of the time they will speak the truth unless they are mislead.

Most of my observations may be relevant to very young kids (less than 5 years old). As they start growing they tend to loose these good qualities because they tend to imitate US. We influence how our children believe. I also made some generic observations about adults. They are not to so easy that we lack everything. It is to easy that we don't nurture the child in us and ACT as grown ups.

Next time you are around your kids or kids in the neighborhood take sometime and watch them. Then you will know what I mean. I am not a poet. So instead of expressing my "missing my childhood" as a poem, I have written this essay. I do reflect how I was as a child and I sure relish those moments and wish I can get back those moments.

These words also assumed significance in wake of recent terrorist attacks. When we were children also some events happened which we were not worried about. But as an adult we are concerned about so many things. When I see my daughter who is blissfully ignorant of the events, I am glad for her. I feel happy for her that she can enjoy her life without worrying about the "world".

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