One of the important means of motivating others is through sincere appreciation.

 

Behavior appreciated is behavior repeated.

 

We know this simple truth from our childhood. When we were growing up, we learned fast so that we can get more appreciation from adults. Be it talking your first few words or taking first steps in early years. We continue to enjoy this appreciation and this becomes a habit for us. There may be lot of psychological explanations and theories associated to this simple concept.

 

But Fact is we all like appreciation. This idea should be understood properly and used properly. I have worked/lived in both Indian environment and also US environments. I find extremes in implementation of this concept.

 

In India, we find appreciation is rare once you become an adult. Instead focus is more on criticism and making demands despite doing your best. As child you started to like appreciation but as you grow you will receive more reprimands and advices 'to behave' than positive encouragement in terms of appreciation. For a growing child it becomes difficult to get used to this 'new discipline' and after sometime we stop expecting any appreciation also. Any thing you do either at home or at work you receive no appreciation either because what you have done is 'expected of you' and what you have done is your duty. Even putting extra efforts in doing a job and an extra pain taken to help other individual is greeted with very minimal show of appreciation. Hence extra efforts are taken for granted.

 

Contrary to this, in US, you tend to receive a word of thanks so frequently that you can't distinguish whether it is appreciation or not. You are expected to say thanks with every one you get to interact, transact and ask for a small favor. I also find the appreciation carried to an extreme at my daughter's school where they are given 'an excellent job' even if their work contains mistakes. Here appreciation is taken for granted.

 

What is needed in both places is a balance of the above approaches?

 

For India:

It is not necessary give appreciation for tasks that are normal and are considered duty of an individual. But when someone puts in some extra effort don't ignore that extra effort but instead state very clearly that 'you have done a good job'. Don't make the appreciation appear generic which may be misunderstood. Instead state specifics on why you are appreciating and explain what you find a quality that is worthy of appreciation.

 

For US:

Make an effort to distinguish between a routine thanks and genuine thanks. A routine thanks is when you say thank in a normal way. A genuine thanks is when you receive a favor and you really appreciate the favor in a strong way.

 

In either case following guidelines will be useful 

 

Be sincere in your appreciation. Let your appreciation come from your heart and not just echo words without any feeling. Fully understand what special effort an individual has taken that deserves the appreciation you are about to give. This awareness and understanding will make your appreciation sincere.

 

State clearly what you are appreciating. Be specific and to the point. Don't use standard phrases during appreciation.

Work Example:  You want to appreciate an employee for his excellent performance.

Instead of saying 'You have done a good job on this project'  say take a little extra time to say 'I appreciate your contribution in this project is completing your task towards so and so on time and in good quality which was well received by customers so and so. This has really helped company in earning customer loyalty etc..'

Personal Example: Someone remembered a favor you asked to buy medicines for you on their way back. It was a favor to you.

Instead of saying: Thanks for getting the medicines

say

'Thanks for remembering and getting the medicines. It really helps me as I am not in a position to go and get them by myself." (Express what it meant to you). 

Another example from my recent experience. When I moved my apartment, part of cleaning we spent lot of time the apartment. But later we found that we were charged for damages we are not responsible. I complained to the person in Leasing Office. The person in charge understood my concern and looked up old records and confirmed that we are not responsible and refunded that amount. Though in this case it may not be required on their part to go to extra length to resolve our complaint, it was done much to our happiness. I felt this deserves genuine appreciation. I went to the person who helped and said "I thank you a lot for taking extra effort to trace old records and prove that we are not responsible."  By being very specific in my appreciation, I recognized the person's extra efforts sincerely. And I am sure this appreciation will make the person repeat that effort in sometime future. 

Being specific in even criticism is also important. When someone makes a small mistake, don't say 'You always make such mistakes', 'Don't make such mistakes again'. Instead state what exact mistake someone has done. I remember this concept was discussed in more detail in one of the 'One Minute Manager' Series of books.

 

Don't hurry appreciation: Don't show your appreciation in a hurry. Don't say the words you want to say in a corridor. Call the person to your room or place where you can spend quality time and express your appreciation.

 

Make it a ritual that is remembered:

Many times when the appreciation is done in a special manner it has profound effect and a lifetime impact. I remember all the appreciation I received where I felt 'someone special' at that particular moment. And also remember when others received special attention. It also motivates me to aspire for such appreciation. It has a positive effect on not only person who receives the appreciation but on others also.

 

Such examples include:

Giving a special mention certificate in a team meeting or company meeting

Sincerely putting your appreciation in a 'Send Off Greeting Card'

 

Some of the simple words of appreciation by my friends/teachers in 'autograph books'  are a lifetime inspiration for me.  And also the 'special appreciation' letters only I received are more cherished than an appreciation certificate issued to each team member. 

 

Summary

Remember appreciation principle need not be applied only at work but also at home and also with friends, relatives. I have seen people to go to extra length to help others and do not receive any appreciation. That has very strong negative effect. Not only they hate you for being 'ungrateful' but they hesitate to repeat the behavior to someone else. On the other hand genuine appreciation even if it is received only for 5 seconds has a lifetime impact. Recollect all the sincere appreciation you received in your life and also take stock of times when you gave sincere appreciation  to others. Hope you got the idea I was trying to convey.