This is the basic question that can get debated in many families while deciding on career options. Parents are of the opinion that they know best and the children should follow what they say. Children think they are being forced to do what they don't like and the struggle begins. Each party gets into debate and discusses pros and cons of each career option available. These debates continue to be major topics of discussion in family gatherings. Everyone also adds his or her own wisdom to the debate. In many cases children find themselves alone in their decisions and this can be very difficult to handle.

Career is a journey. It is not just a goalpost to reach and forget. In my opinion, the person who is going to travel has to decide how he wants to travel. The ownership of decision is going to determine how happy the journey will be.

If you are standing in a bus stop and someone asks which bus he should take to take to reach a place then you will give details of buses and stop there. You will not force to him to board the bus you are interested and make him sit in a seat of your liking. Your duty is complete once you give the knowledge/information and make the person aware of his options. He has to decide how he wants to go and where he has to sit.

Extending this example to career, parents have to give the options based on their personal experience and leave the final decision to the child.

Child has to think beyond what he wants to become. Child wants to be a doctor. But it does not end there. One needs to be clear of what to do after becoming a doctor - whether have a practice or join a reputed hospital etc. and what specialization should be opted for and how much effort is needed to achieve this goal. This will help child in focusing on career better. But it is not possible to know all the details at very young age and the child has to rely on wisdom of elders.

One has to enjoy what they do. If the responsibility is thrust on the individual he will live a life that is full of blame. So parents play the enabler role and child plays a decider role. The ideal scenario is where the child and parents sit and discuss various options and child takes a decision that the parents approve.

But this ideal scenario does not happen always. Either parents insist that child should take so and so course and pursue decided career. They do everything to make this happen. Child feels miserable and hates the same. Extreme risk in this case is the child will blame parents of spoiling the career.

The other extreme scenario is child declares what he wants to be and parents do not bother. Child pursues his own choice and when he falters he blames the parents of not guiding him.

In either extreme case parents can become responsible. Don't take the extreme steps. Parents have the responsibility to guide and child has his right to choose. Let this happen in the best manner possible.

So what matters finally is a very good knowledge from experienced and knowledgeable people and a discussion on each option and a consensus on the option by both parties involved. Such crucial decisions should not be taken based on just emotions and incomplete knowledge.

Time for Reflection:

Take a few minutes to reflect. It always helps.

For Parents: Am I interfering in my child's career? Or Am I giving adequate guidance to my child? For Children: Am I being foolish in ignoring my parents' wisdom? Send your comments to cskishore@yahoo.com with subject: career guidance